A vent please

Ok as most of y'all know know my husband's Mother passed away a week ago. The viewing was Tuesday evening. Family & Friends etc. Well that went fair even though my son & I was insulted several times by husband's sister. I was big enough to just let it drop off. I took the higher road as well did my son. Though I was tempted when she started on my son , no one insult my little club lol not so little but hey he is mine lol. My husband told her to knock it off as I would really get her as she said some really nasty statements at my Mother's funeral directed at me yet again. This is the same idiot who drop acid during the 60's & 70's live on welfare had a kid out of wedlock as I cared. Never said any about my father when he died. I didn't invite her to my Mother funeral & did not want her there or any of my husband's family there except his Mom as my Mother & her grew up together.
Wednesday came along & I am hoping I can make it through it. I told husband if they lower the ashes into ground I was leaving sorry it goes back to when I was younger. I know the person is dead but seeing them lower in the ground just make it worse for me. Like I said it goes back to when I was a young child. I was doing fine. The funeral director's son gave me a hug & called me by my maiden name which made sister in law really mad why I don't know. It made me feel good to be remember by my maiden name. We were in a small room just for family & I was talking to a long time friend of his Mother & my Mother when the funeral director came back in & asked me if it was okay that he brought someone back that wanted to see me I said yes. In walked my friend that lived across the street from me but moved 7 yrs ago. We are closed friends & she helped me through my parents death. And she came to pay her respects to both of us as she knew Dave's Mother through me. Ok I lost it when I saw her because I didn't think she would come as I couldn't get ahold of her. Then she told me her husband's youngest brother died (her ex>>Long story) & buried him this past Sat & got back Monday night. We both cried. And then she hugged my husband & she left to go back inside church. I mention it to two of the brothers who she was & to my niece. All said that was nice of her to come back & they were sorry about her ex. All except his sister. Oh well. Got through the service which was long but nice cried a little but made it through. Went out to grave where the minster said a short prayer & then that was the end of services. They had a reception at the church & I walked with my friend hand in hand whispering things. She knew things that my MIL did to me & my family & knew that I loved her despite the things but knew I didn't get along with DH's sister for what she said about my Mother. Even her Mother got mad about it & chew her out. The funeral director said good bye & laugh & said my friend & I were like chilhood friends talking about boys lol. We went in & talked more & I took her around to meet the rest of family when she got ready to leave. My friend told my SIL she was sorry for her loss that her Mother was a nice person & she is in a better place & at peace. My SIL insulted her. I told SIL be careful as you are now really pushing it. I asked her do you want me to repeat what you said about my Mother? Told her I had to hold back my brother from doing bodily harm to her back then. We walked out & my friend said just forget it Barb you are better she is & leave it.
Today we went down to the Assisted living place to get my husband's picture that his Mom had when he was around 12 or so. I also wanted to get two things that I was told I could have. Called BIL & he asked if we could stay & help them moved her stuff. I told him I couldn't move anything due to my broken ribs & he said that was okay that I could help with packing. Hey I done this 5 times now. Ok so I did it. One thing I did see while going through her jewerly box was a little box that had a heart shaped stone in it. Morgan second oldest & one of the executor of will said do you want it Barb? I said yes I would like that. Their sister saw it by my purse & said oh great her daughter would love it. I mention to her that I was taking it. She told me I had no standing in the family only been married to her oldest brother since 1969 & dating since 1967. Said fine when Taylor the youngest son & the other executor said his partner gave to their Mom & it was up to him but he said I could have it as I did more for their Mom while she was in the assisted living places she was at. I was the only one who could calm her down when no one else could. So I could have it. So I got it. She wasn't happy but I only asked for two things for myself & this piece which was offered to me. My husband was out getting trash bags & I was sitting in the chair talking to Vicente( Taylor's partner) & he was telling me not to get upset which I wasn't just getting mad, my Italian's temper was getting really tempted now. DH noticed I was upset so he went to his sister & said if you ever come back to Virginia don't ask to see us as we don't want to see you. I told him no worries they won't tell us anything they just wanted our money when your Mom was alive. Never told my husband anything about his Mom. If we wanted to talk to the doctor we had to go through Morgan & only if Morgan gave permission could we talk to doctor. That when I told DH no more money if they won't let us talk to doctor etc they don't need the money especailly since he sat on my checks ( I hate it when people wait for months to cash a check) So I gather this will be the last contact we will have them.
I did tell Vicent & Taylor when Dave & I died they wasn't to even come. I will make sure they won't come. It will be in my will none of his family allowed. If he goes I won't inform them maybe two of them but not his sister. I will have my fellow police officers blocking their way. Sorry the old saying you can pick your friends & not your family hold true. I did try to be nice went out of my way to stay away from his sister but she pushed her way in my way. I am sorry his Mom died but she really is in a better place & not in pain any longer. His sister should have stayed longer than 2 days last month. I am sorry that her Mother didnt know who she was. She should know since she think she know everything about old people. Oh well it is over hope they leave us alone at least leave me alone. Just shoot me. My son told me I should have told her off but I was trying to be a better person by taking the high road. Family ! Thanks for listening. Wish I had my cat that I could talk to & hold.

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"We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it. "
William Faulkner

" And that's the way it is" Walter Cronkite

Barb

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Counting down to: Sept 2010 BWI
184 days 23 hours 26 minutes

I'm sorry for your pain, honey.

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Barb, Been there,Done that! lol

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Lu

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Sorry to hear all you are going through Barb. You should be very proud of yourself for taking the high road the whole time, and not taking the bait of your SIL's insulting comments.

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Mary

My Disney Countdown

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Thanks Tink, Lu, & Mary,
Though it is very tempting to let go I will be above her. But it is awful hard not to but I will be a good girl as long as I don't have to see her again. Now they trying to get me to get a discount with the lawyer who drew up her will (my brother best friend & mine & who did our Mom's estate) I told him no I wouldn't call him but here is his number but don't call after 5pm as he works at home now. I can call after 5pm but I am a friend lol. But I already talked to him about something & he is upset that no one called him about their Mom's death. But I said not up to me to call. He understood & said they were idiots lol.

__________________
"We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it. "
William Faulkner

" And that's the way it is" Walter Cronkite

Barb

My Disney Countdown

Counting down to: Sept 2010 BWI
184 days 23 hours 26 minutes

It's a shame that you had to deal with that Barb. I am so sorry that the lovely SIL was not cordial, as she should have been. Unfortunately people are petty and that sounds to be true in this case as well. Oh well, I hope you are doing well, and I am sure that your trip in 9 days will help a lot as well.

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Thanks Jeff
She drop too much acid back in the 60's is my guess lol. Her loss not mine I can live pertectly well without her but it was just too much this week.. A shame people are like that. If I am near someone I really don't like I will make an effort to be nice. Oh well life is too short. Though my brother lives not to far from her when he goes hunting lol . Yes I am really loooking forward to my Disney fix next week as long as it doesn't snow in NH lol where our plane comes from.

__________________
"We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it. "
William Faulkner

" And that's the way it is" Walter Cronkite

Barb

My Disney Countdown

Counting down to: Sept 2010 BWI
184 days 23 hours 26 minutes