Insanity test laugh
These, apparently, are actual answers given to test questions.
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing."
"Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime."
"While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating."
"In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O."
"Rain is saved up in cloud banks."
"Thunder is a rich source of loudness."
"Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound."
"We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on."
"Clouds are highflying fogs."
Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
Water vapour gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
Short Funny Jokes
Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.
A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
Don't knock the weather; nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in awhile!
Probably the last completely accurate forecast was when God told Noah there was a 100 percent chance of precipitation.
If you see a heat wave, should you wave back?
The wind is like the air, only pushier.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
And now, for your extended forecast: "Foooorrrcaaaasssstt"
What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxis!
Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get!
Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season is Like Christmas
10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights).
8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials".
6. Family coming to stay with you.
5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.
4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities.
3. Days off from work.
1 And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas...At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!
How is snow white? -Pretty good, according to the 7 dwarfs
Jill: How did you find the weather on your vacation?
Bill: I just went outside and there it was.
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
I am told that the Inuit have some sixty words for snow...for different kinds of snow. That doesn't surprise me; they see a lot of it. I live considerably south of the tree line, but even I have seventeen words for snow — none of them usable in public. ARTHUR BLACK
There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. CLYDE MOORE
So much for that forecast, I just finished shoveling four inches of "Partly Cloudy" off my sidewalks.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. GEORGE CARLIN